Can someone proof read my essay and help me on out. Thanks ahead of time.
As children we always find a place that holds deep memories for us to remember. These memories could come from events that have occurred in the person life, places we go or see might trigger these memories from the past. As time went by, many changes have occurred in my city of Pasadena where I had some positive and negative memories as I was growing up that developed and influenced the way I chose to live my life.
Before we moved to Pasadena, my family lived in Chinatown, in Los Angeles. Our apartment had one bedroom, one bathroom, a small kitchen and a tiny living room. My father had to work hard to save enough money to move us into a bigger place. Eventually, he bought a house in Pasadena. The Pasadena house was quite different than the Chinatown apartment. It had a bigger living room and more bedrooms. Whereas the apartment was surrounded by commercial and other apartment buildings, empty lots surrounded the Pasadena house. The neighborhood was still in the construction phase and not many houses were built. The streets were unpaved and the sidewalks not yet poured. As time went by, the stages of construction compares to when I was a young child and then moving along the different stages of life, as I become an adult.
At that time, Pasadena did not have any parks with playgrounds for my friends and me to play. Therefore, there were a lot of open lots around the neighborhood of Pasadena where my friends and I would have our own sandlot. We would gather as many children around our neighborhood to play baseball. We made our own base path to run around and mark where the foul ball lines would be. There was also no grass in the outfield to slow the ball down, so if the ball reached the outfield it would skid along the dirt and passed the outfielders for a homerun. Another thing my friends and I would do is that we would bring shovels to make several dirt ramps by piling dirt together. Then we would use our bikes to jump off these ramps to see who would jump the highest and we would also try to do some tricks. Sometimes when I go by these open lots it brings back fond memories I had with my friends when we used to play in these lots.
As the years went by, the city of Pasadena started to change with more houses and buildings being built. Dirt roads are now covered by asphalt and streets finally have sidewalks. More people are starting to move into Pasadena as well as gang members. My memories of Pasadena have changed and it also made me feel ashamed to be living here, since these gang檚 would graffiti their names on commercial buildings, on people檚 houses with block walls, and on the sidewalls of liquor stores. These gangs want to put their names (gang signs or nick names) on these buildings to show who owns the territory; however, it has made my city look ugly. I remember a few times when the block walls on my house were covered with graffiti. This angered me so much that I wanted to catch these gang members who did this to my own house.
One of my memorable memories while living in Pasadena would be the influenced of my friend Joe檚 dad, next-door neighbor, who would teach us how to tune up a car. Joe檚 dad showed us how to use a car jack and where to put the car stands if we were going to change the oil from a car. He showed us what we had to unscrew, the nut, that was holding the old oil and also we have to unscrew the old oil filter and replace it with a new oil filter. Then he showed us where the oil needs to be poured into and how to check the level of oil so it would not overflow. He also showed us how to replace sparkplugs if we have to change it. By replacing new sparkplugs, he told us that we have to use the sparkplug gap for each new sparkplug because it needs to be the right gap size. To find the gap size he showed us how to find it up in the car manual. Besides teaching us how to tune up a car he would also try to get us involved in sports by enrolling us in leagues for baseball, basketball and football, so that way we would stay out of trouble. He was a man who I looked up to and who was there for me when I needed to talk. Joe檚 dad influenced me by being there and teaching me new things. As an adult, I am always involved in sports and I also know how to change the oil and replace sparkplugs when I need to tune up my car.
A horrible memory I had was when I went to Emerson Elementary School. It was down the street from my house where I went to elementary school. I was in the 4th grade at the time. It was during recess time and my friends and I found a body lying behind a tree where we were playing on the swings. I recognized the person because he was one of my classmate檚 brother檚 who was from a gang. He had a few bullets lodged in his chest with blood flowing out and onto the ground. We ran and told the teacher about it and Mrs. Johnson called the police. The police officers arrived and asked my friends and me what had happened. We told the police officers that we found the body lying behind the tree where the swings were located. The police officer went over to check if the person was still alive as Emergency crews were arriving. An Emergency helicopter was also on scene as it has flown onto school grounds and they wheeled the body onto the helicopter. School was let out early that day and I could not forget what had happened. At night, when I went to sleep I could not sleep because I could not forget what I had seen. The next day at school they announced that the person had died on his way to the hospital. This memory has stuck out through my life, as I could not forget what had happen on that day. It also influenced me by not joining a gang because I do not want to get shot and die.
Another negative memory I had was when I was playing Little League baseball. I was at Smith Park, just a few blocks away from my house. At the time, I was 10 years old playing for the Yankees. It was in the top of the 4th inning and I was playing left field. All of a sudden I heard gunshots fired. I ducked down to the ground and covered myself hoping the bullets would not hit me. People in the stands scattered all over the place as gunshots rang throughout the area. I did not get up from the ground until my coach came over and told me everything was safe and luckily no one was hurt. My teammates and I gathered around the dugout to talk about what had happened. I told them I was not scared at all and showed them I was brave, but deep inside I was scared and I felt my legs shivering. That day made a huge impact on my life because I do not want to live in a neighborhood where gunshots are being fired at a baseball game and where kids can be killed or injured.
By living in this neighborhood, of Pasadena, and having friends and family that are supportive made me realize that I want to succeed and to do better for myself. To get myself out of Pasadena by earning a college degree and getting an entry level job position. I want to live in a neighborhood where there is no graffiti on the walls and no gunshots being fired on a daily basis. In the retrospect these memories have made me appreciate the little things that life has to offer and have kept me going in the positive and not in the negative direction where it can ruin my life in the process.
Need someone to proof read my paper or someone good with English?
As children we always find a place that holds deep memories for us to remember. These memories could come from events that have occurred in the person's life - places we go or see might trigger these memories from the past. As time has gone by, many changes have occurred in my city of Pasadena where I had some positive and negative memories as I was growing up that developed and influenced the way I chose to live my life.
Before we moved to Pasadena, my family lived in Chinatown, in Los Angeles. Our apartment had one bedroom, one bathroom, a small kitchen and a tiny living room. My father had to work hard to save enough money to move us into a bigger place. Eventually, he bought a house in Pasadena. The Pasadena house was quite different from the Chinatown apartment. It had a bigger living room and more bedrooms. Whereas the apartment was surrounded by commercial and other apartment buildings, empty lots surrounded the Pasadena house. The neighborhood was still in the construction phase and not many houses were built. The streets were unpaved and the sidewalks not yet poured.
[***THIS BIT IS AWKWARD - the past and present tenses are mixed up - rephrase it - ***As time went by, the stages of construction compares to when I was a young child and then moving along the different stages of life, as I become an adult***].
At that time, Pasadena did not have any parks with playgrounds for my friends and me to play in. Therefore, there were a lot of open lots around the neighborhood of Pasadena where my friends and I would have our own sandlot. We would gather many children around our neighborhood to play baseball. We made our own base path to run around and mark where the foul ball lines would be. There was also no grass in the outfield to slow the ball down, so if the ball reached the outfield it would skid along the dirt and pass the outfielders for a home run. Another thing my friends and I would do is bring shovels to make several dirt ramps by piling dirt together. Then we would use our bikes to jump off these ramps to see who would jump the highest and we would also try to do some tricks. Sometimes when I go by these open lots it brings back fond memories I had with my friends when we used to play in there.
As the years went by, the city of Pasadena started to change with more houses and buildings being built. Dirt roads are now covered by asphalt and streets finally have sidewalks. More people are starting to move into Pasadena as well as gang members. My memories of Pasadena have changed and it also made me feel ashamed to be living here, since these gangs would graffiti their names on commercial buildings, on people檚 houses with block walls, and on the sidewalls of liquor stores. These gangs want to put their names (gang signs or nick names) on these buildings to show who owns the territory. However, it has made my city look ugly. I remember a few times when the block walls on my house were covered with graffiti. This angered me so much that I wanted to catch these gang members who did this to my own house.
One of my memorable memories while living in Pasadena would be the influence of my friend Joe檚 dad, a next-door neighbor, who would teach us how to tune up a car. Joe檚 dad showed us how to use a car jack and where to put the car stands if we were going to change the oil in a car. He showed us what we had to unscrew, the nut that was holding the old oil, and also we how we had to unscrew the old oil filter and replace it with a new oil filter. Then he showed us where the oil needs to be poured into and how to check the level of oil so it would not overflow. He also showed us how to replace spark plugs if we have to change them. By replacing new spark plugs, he told us that we have to use the spark plug gap for each new spark plug because it needs to be the right gap size. To find the gap size he showed us how to look it up in the car manual. Besides teaching us how to tune up a car he would also try to get us involved in sports by enrolling us in leagues for baseball, basketball and football, so that way we would stay out of trouble. He was a man who I looked up to and who was there for me when I needed to talk. Joe檚 dad influenced me by being there and teaching me new things. As an adult, I am always involved in sports and I also know how to change the oil and replace spark plugs when I need to tune up my car.
A horrible memory I had was when I went to Emerson Elementary School. It was down the street from my house and I was in the 4th grade at the time. It was during recess time and my friends and I found a body lying behind a tree where we were playing on the swings. I recognized the person because he was one of my classmate檚 brothers who was from a gang. He had a few bullets lodged in his chest with blood flowing out and onto the ground. We ran and told the teacher about it and Mrs. Johnson called the police. The police officers arrived and asked me and my friends what had happened. We told the police officers that we found the body lying behind the tree where the swings were located. The police officer went over to check if the person was still alive as emergency crews were arriving. An emergency helicopter was also on scene as it had flown onto school grounds and they wheeled the body onto the helicopter. School was let out early that day and I could not forget what had happened. At night, when I went to sleep I could not sleep because I could not forget what I had seen. The next day at school they announced that the person had died on his way to the hospital. This memory has stuck out through my life, as I could not forget what had happen on that day. It also influenced me to not join a gang because I do not want to get shot and die.
Another negative memory I had was when I was playing Little League baseball. I was at Smith Park, just a few blocks away from my house. At the time, I was 10 years old playing for the Yankees. It was in the top of the 4th inning and I was playing left field. All of a sudden I heard gunshots fired. I ducked down to the ground and covered myself hoping the bullets would not hit me. People in the stands scattered all over the place as gunshots rang throughout the area. I did not get up from the ground until my coach came over and told me everything was safe and luckily no one was hurt. My teammates and I gathered around the dugout to talk about what had happened. I told them I was not scared at all and showed them I was brave, but deep inside I was scared and I felt my legs shivering. That day made a huge impact on my life because I do not want to live in a neighborhood where gunshots are being fired at a baseball game and where kids can be killed or injured.
By living in the neighborhood of Pasadena, and having friends and family that are supportive made me realize that I want to succeed and to do better for myself. To get myself out of Pasadena by earning a college degree and getting an entry-level job position. I want to live in a neighborhood where there is no graffiti on the walls and no gunshots being fired on a daily basis. In retrospect these memories have made me appreciate the little things that life has to offer and have kept me going in the positive and not in the negative direction which could ruin my life in the process [**this ending sentence is a little awkward sounding - 'where it can ruin my life in the process' - what about 'which could have ruined - or ended - my life altogether'. ]Need someone to proof read my paper or someone good with English?
in the beginning you messed up
its not by %26quot;living in the person life%26quot;
its by %26quot;living in the person's life.%26quot;Need someone to proof read my paper or someone good with English?
you ****** up is not in construction is underconstruction
